Surat malam

Untukmu,

Hari ini selesai misa hari komunikasi sosial 2012 di gereja katedral, Jakarta. Inti topik kotbah yang dibawakan sang Romo memakai bahasa jawa, mengingatkanku kepadamu yang mengajariku mengenai keheningan, bagai sungai tenang yang lumpurnya telah mengendap.

Aku juga ingat ke-hetero-spiritual kita, pernah membawa kita berdoa dengan segala metode agar hubungan kita juga direstui oleh para Santa dan Tuhan. Aku pernah menyelipkan kertas doamu di tembok ratapan ketika melakukan perjalanan spiritual ke Israel. Isi surat itu kau memohon kepada Tuhan untuk menyatukan kita dengan cara apapun dan kita siap menghadapinya.

Malam ini, aku menyempatkan diri duduk di depan gua maria. Tempat dulu kamu pernah mengadukanku ke Bunda Maria di sana. Kalau tidak salah ingat, waktu itu aku memarahimu, kau sangat sedih sampai tidak berkata-kata kepadaku, kau masuk ke dalam aula dan berdoa di dalam kepada Tuhan Yesus, lalu setelahn kau keluar dari ruangan itu perasaanmu masih belum lega, kau kemudian pergi ke gua Maria yang open air itu. Disana kau bersimbah air mata sedang aku sibuk digigiti nyamuk. Aku ingat kau berdoa sangat lama, seakan kau sedang mengadu kepada Bunda Maria betapa kejamnya aku memarahimu. Aku ingat setelah itu kau mengatakan kepadaku dengan mata sembabmu itu, bahwa bahkan mamamu saja tidak pernah memarahimu seperti aku.

Ya, malam ini aku duduk disana ntah datang dari mana air mata itu, aku teringat kembali ke titik dimana aku digigit nyamuk itu dan berjanji akan datang kembali di depan Bunda Maria itu, apakah akan bersama dengan kamu, sendiri atau aku sudah bersama orang lain. Aku pasti akan kembali dan memastikan ke Bunda Maria bahwa aku sayang kamu, walaupun aku pernah memarahimu, ataupun pernah membuatmu sedih, tapi semua kenangan yang membawa kita sampai ke titik ini telah diberkati oleh para Santa dan Tuhan yang Maha Esa.

Malam ini aku menyampaikan sebuah doa paling tulus melalui para orang-orang suci yang ditujukan untuk kebahagiaanmu. Semoga kamu berbahagia di ujung dunia sana, dimanapun sekarang kau berlabuh. Aku tahu kamu akan membaca ini. Dan semoga ketika kamu kembali ke titik dimana kita pernah bertemu, kamu menangkap doa yang telah kuselipkan diudara malam ini.

Atas nama cinta,

Jasmine Alexandria

Word of today: Snob

Please read below for definition

A snob is someone who believes that some people are inherently inferior to him or her for any one of a variety of reasons, including real or supposed intellect wealth, education, ancestry, class, taste, beauty, nationality, etc. Often, the form of snobbery reflects the snob’s personal attributes. For example, a common snobbery of the affluent is the belief that wealth is either the cause or result of superiority, or both.

“It’s a kind of spiritual snobbery that makes people think they can be happy without money.”

-Albert Camus

I agree with this article below. Have a quick read! It’s a good one

Money, money, money
In this day and age, it’s a bit of a joke to think one can subsist comfortably and happily without money. Indulgent materialism isn’t beneficial to anyone; money is more valuable in moderate amounts than in massive amounts. Many of us fantasize about being billionaires, but, in reality, the fun money provides us with is in the balance between novelty use and survival use.

We need money to provide ourselves with housing, food and utilities.  If you’re on a budget, every time you buy a book or go out to eat, you’re weighing the enjoyment of those activities against the fact that the money you’re spending on them is money you may eventual need to survive.  This game of cost-benefit analysis we’re constantly engaged in with money leads to happiness and excitement when we take small, calculated risks for both the sake of enjoyment and the sake of survival.    

This dichotomy goes both ways:  it’s the thrill of the consumer, though it’s also the woe of the debt-ridden members of the lower and middle-classes.  It’s also the reason why I imagine we read about so many miserable billionaires and troubled celebrities.  When one no longer knows the excitement of spending for fun what also provides one with livelihood, the whole idea of money becomes lame and uninteresting, regardless of how many houses and Ferraris you buy.  Enjoy what you have.  Buy what your budget allows in conjunction with whatever saving your future plans require.  

Consider the very idea of money– it dates back as far back in human history as social interaction existed.  It’s a currency for livelihood.  You trade work for money, which you can then spend on rations and luxuries (should they be afforded).  The idea of money only gets complicated when you’re dealing with people who are trying to get it from you (see: banks, government institutions, corporations, mafia bosses).  

Finding a comfortable place for yourself in the balance between budgeting and mildly indulging is more enjoyable than the balance between hoarding and greedily indulging in massive purchases.  The ‘corporate pigs’ so many people protest against often fall into the latter category.  These are often people who keep massive amounts of money for themselves and either let it sit in accounts or spend it on lavish overindulgent items unlikely to make them or anyone else happier in the long-run.  The cutoff point for money itself providing happiness is around 75,000 a year.  Satisfaction past that point comes not from having massive amounts of money, but from the excitement and optimism catalyzed by being productive and successful in a given career.  You can’t buy happiness, but you can certainly work hard for it.

Satisfaction in life comes from constantly being engaged positively with your surroundings, not from spending massive amounts of cash on ephemeral purchases.  Coincidentally, the reward for hard, innovative work often seems to be massive amounts of cash.  The illusion millions of people toil miserably under is that there’s no middle ground between happiness and money.  In truth, the middle ground is passionate, diligent productivity.  Work hard and enjoy whatever you can manage to make.  Just remember, money is a tool for making the most of your resources, not a magical recipe for happiness.  It’s a utility for living, not a be-all-end-all life-force.(www.thedailyzen.org)

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Make mistake

Thank you for let me have the best part of the fish from your plate….
I’m aware that it’s unappropriated to the elder. I’m totally deserve a punishment for my misbehaved manner in the dining table.

Today was a very wonderful Saturday after all.
I let my self lazying on my super comfort bed, did some work and got back to bed. Have a swim then a marvelous dinner accompanied by two masters with crowds of birthday song everywhere as a back-sound, even when we ate ice cream in different place from that seafood place.

I’ve noticed that i have done many mistakes accumulated day by day. But I’m not afraid to make another one. Do you know why? It’s because, i feel i can be myself. I found my true self each time I’ve done something. Every time when i crossed those boundaries, you always be my reminder. I really must thank you for that.

So for the sake of learning from mistake, i beg for your pardon to keep let me make mistakes… after all “One who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything.” ~Edward Phelps

Let me be that Something!
Thank you #hugs

Theme song for Bali Trip

This song coincidentally played from the radio, accompany me on the car.

When i was just arrived in Bali and again, this same song played from the radio of taxi i took to airport leaving Bali back to Jakarta.

I’ll make this as a theme song that start and end my journey on this “Bali trip”.

Soledad (A song for you)

Capability of Kindness

“Kindness in words creates confidence.
Kindness in thinking creates profoundness.
Kindness in giving creates love.”

Lao-Tzu